My husband has put on about 30 or 40 lbs since we were married. I really want him to lose some of the weight for obvious reasons. How do I encourage him to do so without sounding as if I am nagging?

Oh my goodness, that's a problem so many of us face. And no matter who you are, the topic of weight is usually a sore spot and a personal issue. So, whatever you do, do not nag your husband about his weight problem. He doesn't need you to point out his shortcomings, he needs you to love him in spite of them. Really try to focus on what is great about him. Give him sincere compliments and make sure he knows you appreciate him.

Now, there are many ways that you can encourage him to lose weight and he may not even realize you're doing it. First, examine your own habits. Do you eat well and exercise like you should? Basically, are you a good example? If not, start there and change what you can about yourself. Next, make sure you are not enabling him. In other words, don't pick up his favorite potato chips or ice cream at the store, just to be nice. Keep healthy snacks in the home and get rid of the junk. If the junk isn't around, he can't eat it. Also, make healthy meals, and try dishing up his plate with a proper serving and immediately put the leftovers away. If he doesn't sit down to a smorgasbord, he'll be less likely to over eat. And here's a suggestion I know he won't complain about; get physical. It's a fact that sex burns a lot of calories. Aside from that, plan other physical activities that you can do together. Join a gym together. Instead of going out to eat and to the movies, pack a healthy picnic and go hiking. Helping him adopt a few simple lifestyle changes will help you get back the man you married.

Sincerely,
Sage

I've recently joined the Facebook world and some friends from the past have requested me as their friend. These so called friends were not so kind to me in years past and I was wondering if I should accept them or just ignore the attempt at renewed friendship.
Signed,
Holding Grudges

Dear Holding Grudges,

Well this can be looked at one of two ways, depending on what your purpose is on Facebook. Some people use Facebook as sort of a networking tool. In that case, sure, forgive and forget and be friends. However, if you are a person who uses Facebook to keep in contact with close friends and family, then don't feel guilty for one minute about ignoring their request. Remember, there may be personal information about you or your family that you don't want "so called" friends seeing. I say that if it is not someone you would choose to be acquainted with outside of Facebook, you have no obligation to add them as one of your friends.

Sincerely,
Sage

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